3 tips for a good first impression on the date

The rhetorician Jenny Jernberg helps us with advice and tips to bring out our best and true self in the encounter with a date.

3 tips for a good first impression on the date

How do you actually make a good first impression on the date? And how can you work with your thoughts? We have somewhere between 3-10 seconds to make a very first impression. When we meet a new person, we consciously or unconsciously assess their body language, clothes, and voice. Here are some tips on you can think about in order to bring out the best and truest version of yourself.

1. The importance of body language on the date

Research has shown that 55% of our communication consists of our body language. How you are when you talk thus has the greatest impact on how your date perceives you. Your body language can have a big impact on whether they feel safe and secure with you, which of course sets the tone for how open and curious the conversation you have can be.

Consider your posture. Straighten up and have an open and inviting body language. If you come in with a bad posture, there is a risk that you will be perceived as insecure. If you sit with your arms crossed, you may be seen as closed off or judgemental. Try to relax and find more safety within yourself by focusing on your breathing and relaxing your muscles and shoulders.

I also usually give the advise to think that you have 10 kg in each shoe, or that you, like a tree, have roots that grow from the heels and anchor you into the ground. It makes you feel grounded and gives a more secure impression.

2. How should I dress for the date?

Your clothes can be a powerful "tool" to express yourself and show who you are or what is important to you. You can for example choose outfits that suggest that you are a creative person, if it is important for you to spread joy maybe you choose something colourful, while if you want to show that you are passionate about sustainability or nature you might choose something which signals that.

Perhaps the most important thing however is to choose clothes that empower you, that you feel comfortable in and make you feel good. Clothes affect how we feel to some extent, so it is important to think about it. Because what you want is to maximize your own feeling of being comfortable in yourself and in the situation, it will then be much easier to relax and be yourself.

3. How to avoid a hoarse or crackly voice

When it comes to the voice, I would, in this case, like to talk about breathing. Try to find the deep breath. If we have a deep breath, we signal to the brain that we are calm and it soothes our nervous system. So take some really deep and calm breaths before you meet the person. Find the deep breath by placing a hand on your stomach and feel how your stomach expands when you inhale. Then the stomach contracts when you exhale. Deep breathing also leads to us being perceived as safe and secure, which can be a good starting point when we meet a new person. You can also go back and just note your breathing during the actual date to calm the system while listening to your date.

Your thoughts affect your impression

What thoughts do you fill yourself with and how do you think about yourself? If you think negative thoughts about yourself, it will most likely be visible in your body language. Therefore, it is important that you pick out your empowering thoughts and think well of yourself. Go in with the mindset that you are exploring: this situation, this person and how you yourself are in the meeting with this new person. By looking at it as an exploration, you remove some of the possible pressure that may arise. Instead, you go in with a curiosity about the other, yourself and the situation.

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