A guide to the 5 love languages
Learn about the 5 different love languages and find the words for what you need to feel loved, seen and understood.
**Learn about the 5 different love languages and what you need to feel loved, seen and understood. Here you will also gain an understanding of how you can give a love boost to someone who doesn’t speak the same love language as you.
This love language means that you probably feel most loved when you get to be close to the one you love. Small gestures such as a hug, holding hands, light massage or kissing - makes you feel acknowledged and safe.
If you want to boost someone using physical touch as a love language:
- Take the initiative to touch often
- Touches in different ways, e.g. light or playful
- Be present when you’re touching
- Ask: “How do you want me to touch you right now?”
Words of affirmation
For those of you who have words of affirmation as your primary love language, it makes the most sense to show and receive love through words. This love language means that you feel most loved when you are told that you are valuable and appreciated, it could be a cute post-it note or hearing the words "I love you".
If you want to boost someone who has words of affirmation as their love language:
- Send spontaneous text messages with words of appreciation and small greetings
- Use different words when you say what you appreciate/feel for the other person
- Speak directly from the heart rather than being silent in the search for the "right words"
- Ask: “What do you need to hear from me right now?”
With quality time as the primary love language, you mostly appreciate feeling presence and connection with those you share experiences with. It can be anything from watching a series together, to cooking together or sharing a hobby. When the person you're with isn't fiddling with their phone while you hang out, you really feel prioritized and appreciated.
If you want to boost someone who has quality time as their love language:
- Prioritize time spend together
- Be present and maintain eye contact
- Take the initiative to create dates without distractions
- Ask "What do you want to do with me right now?"
When you give gifts, the price tag is not the most important thing, but rather the thought behind it. Whether it's jewelry, your favorite chocolate, an inside joke or a spontaneous surprise – it's the thought behind it that makes you feel loved, seen and heard.
If you want to boost someone who has gifts like love languages:
- Arrange surprises of various kinds
- Give personalized and thoughtful gifts
- Be creative with the way you deliver your gifts
- Ask “What kinds of gifts do you like receiving from me?”
Acts of service
You feel like there's no better way to say "I love you" than when your partner doesn't step over the garbage bag in the entrance on the way out, but instead takes it with them. Coming home to a table set with food and the package you forgot to pick up yourself, makes you feel like your partner really cares about you.
If you want to boost someone who has services like love language:
- Be keen to help with whatever you can
- Take initiatives to make the other person's everyday life easier
- Do the things that ”needs to be done anyway” - They count too!
- Ask “What can I do for you right now?
Within all love languages there are different dialects and therefore not everything has to apply to you, but this can give you a better understanding of the love languages.